I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
