I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
