It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
