So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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