I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize