and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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