When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
