So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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