Are we in a gay sports bar?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
