it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
