so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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