I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
