I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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