I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
