We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
