woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
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I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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