I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
