This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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