It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
