This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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