Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
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My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
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Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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