dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize