found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
