He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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