I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
