just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
