Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
