Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Randomize
