Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
