I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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