Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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