Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
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He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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