Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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