This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
