I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
