I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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