Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
