your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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