We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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