just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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