Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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