Where are you?
In a non slutty way
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
