the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just want to make out with him forever
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
