Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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