why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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