just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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