We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
