i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Randomize