He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
