Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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