onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
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Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
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We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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