I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
