that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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