How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
