Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
