my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
